seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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