I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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