Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
