well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
