If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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