we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize