I think I died a long time ago.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
