Will you blow on my dice?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
