If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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