We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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