It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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