You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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