He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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