I heard we made out
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
