You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
