she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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