I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
