Already got asked if we're dating
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
