4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
