I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
