wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
