Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
