Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
