OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
