so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
