shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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