How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
