Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
