I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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