the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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