I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You took a bar mat shot.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
