what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
