problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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