seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
