Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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