IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
