please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
where does the pee come out of this thing
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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