And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
