she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
