ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
