I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
