I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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