i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
