this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I intend to get homeless drunk
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
