at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
