Need sex. Gaining weight.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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