I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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