Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
