And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
