Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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